22. syyskuuta 2014


As for this week I wanted to do something different. I run up to old pictures. When I saw those pictures it's funny, because instantly I remember exactly how that day was, how I felt like etc. And it really hurts to remember all those stuff that now, I would do anything to go back to. Again seeing the pictures hit me so hard. It's the first time I actually realised how far I've come, in generally, like how much I've changed and how different everything is now.
Again this sounds like a such a cliché, but like everything has changed and I simply can not get it back. And that's sad. I started my blog about 3 years ago if I'm correct. The name of by blog when I started was "Girl with too many dreams". I remember how I was dreaming about being successful and being someone who other people look up to. My blog has always been about me, not about fashion, not about beauty, even though those are the things I really would like to base my blog on. But the thing is that I wanted my blog to "represent" me as a person and something that gathers my thoughts and saves some memories. And I feel like I've accomplished that.
So later on I changed my blog name, few times even, and now I ended up with "Thought of Nea", but with every meaning behind the name of my blog I feel like maybe I return back to the old name. You know it's so funny that I used to dream about so many things that people continued telling me were stupid and unrealistic. Finally I'm starting to prove people wrong and myself right, I'm accomplishing things I wanted (almost), I'm working towards my goals and I'm actually becoming something I dreamed about.
Of course I didn't dream about my life today, that is challenging me every single day, but generally I'm living in a different country(like I wanted), english has become my everyday language, I'm working towards my dream job and my dream future; like I wanted, but never have the encourage to believe in that.
In one point I totally gave up on every plan and dream I had, because I was convinced my others that it's waste of time. Now when it's all getting closer and closer I'm like "daaamn it's time to get something done" and at the moment I'm doing pretty good job in getting where I want. Even though in my fantasy world I would still be doing cheerleading, I would have acne-free skin and I would live somewhere else than Russia.
Comparing myself now to something who I used to be, I'm proud of myself and these pictures really made me realized that. So what I want to say is that no one's never gonna tell you if you're gonna be something or do something, because there is a plan for everyone and everything happens for a reason; so we all have the possibility to do what we want.And you're the one who has to make the effort and then prove everyone who ever doubted you wrong. :) Enjoy your week!!

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